Book Review: Living Memento Mori

Suffering, faith, and the Way of the Cross. Suitable for most readers, but with caveats for Bible study groups.

Feb 12, 2022

Books are my love language, so one of the recurring features I want to include in this newsletter are book recommendations, including suggestions on how to most effectively use a given book in the framework of evangelization and discipleship.

Because this post covers not just the book but some extensive discussion of its uses in parish ministry, what follows is heavy on the wordcount. Stay calm. Wait to read it when you need the info. I am building a sidebar of recommended reading on the main page of the substack; as I get reviews written I will update the links to take you to the reviews, so that you don't need to worry about losing this one if you want to come back to it later.

The Book

Since Lent is rapidly approaching, I'm going to begin with Living Memento Mori: My Journey through the Stations of the Cross by my friend Emily DeArdo.

The Disclaimer

If you check the acknowledgments, you’ll learn that I did some behind-the-scenes work making this one happen. My part was very early in the pre-publishing process, and did not involve any work directly on Living Memento Mori itself. In the interest of full disclosure and also because it's a good example of what informal one-to-one discipleship looks like (mutual-mentoring, in this case), I'll share more of that story in an upcoming post.

--> To be completely clear, though: I have zero financial stake in this book whatsoever. I wouldn't post a bad review of anyone's book (I don't finish books I don’t care for, I pass them on to a more suitable audience), but I'm recommending this one entirely of my own initiative.

If you'd like to follow up directly with Emily, she does have access to the combox here at One Soul at a Time, but if you're a free subscriber here just reach out to her directly on her blog, where her comboxes are open.

Last things first: Just how much do I recommend this book?

This is a book I no longer purchase in single copies. If I have a copy on my shelves, it's going to end up in the hands of the next person I meet who needs it. It's a rock solid book with no expiration date, and which covers the toughest of topics in a way that responds to our personal need for spiritual intimacy with Jesus Christ.

What's inside the book?

Living Memento Mori has two main sections. The bulk of the book is a series of meditations on each of the Stations of the Cross, one short chapter per station.

Something to know, because it confused me, briefly, until I figured out what was going on: Each chapter begins with a Bible verse that is related to the reflection to follow, but which is not the actual station itself. Within the chapter are interweaved three main streams of thought:

The experience of Jesus in His suffering and death -- a direct contemplation of the Way of the Cross.
An exploration of how that relates to our own experiences of fear, dread, suffering, and impending death. This will often interconnect with other parts of the Gospels.
Excerpts from Emily's memoir* on her experience as someone who has spent her whole life right there staring death in the face.

In total what you get is a compassionate message of hope and encouragement in the face of unavoidable suffering, from someone with the street cred to deliver that message.

The chapters build on each other thematically, so they are best read in order and with no skimming. You can read a sample chapter here.

The second main feature of the book is an appendix with a Stations of the Cross suitable for personal or parish use. It follows the usual format for praying the Stations, with the short meditation picking up themes from the book in a way that is appropriate for general usage in any context. Because the book is compact and lightweight (5"x7", 4 oz.), it can easily be used as your go-to Stations of the Cross booklet to bring with you to church.

Each station in the appendix is on its own page, un-illustrated and with blank space, so that final section is suitable for use by those who like small-format Bible-journaling.

If you’re reading this review for your own interest, you now have enough info to decide whether the book is for you. God bless and you’re free to go!

Updated: You can find Emily DeArdo’s Memento Mori Ask Me Anything post here if you’d like to chat with her directly.

The remainder of this newsletter shifts gears into how the book fits into discipleship and evangelization initiatives, including caveats on using this in your parish group Bible study or giving it to some random friend.

At the very bottom is a link list, and also a reference to miso. (The food. It’s good stuff.)

Who's the audience?

The text is eminently readable and the tone is conversational. The ideal readers is, at a minimum:

Teen or adult. The reading-level and conceptual framework assume basic developmental readiness that children are unlikely to have. I don't recall anything inherently objectionable for children, in the event a child picked up the book at random, though I didn’t read it with that in mind.
Catholic or else a non-Catholic who is comfortable with Catholic spirituality. I think this book can be suitable at any stage on the path to discipleship (see bottom for a link to introduce you to the "thresholds of conversion"), if the person is open to praying the Stations. This book leads you through a conversation with God, and you need to be ready for that.
Someone who is open to exploring the problem of pain and suffering. Don't shove this into the hands of someone who is completely drowning in pain and just needs to grieve. It is absolutely fantastic if you want to find comfort in the Cross, but there are no magic answers to suffering, so the book is not a talisman.

I do not think there's a point where you are "too advanced" for the book. As a longtime disciple who is fairly extensively read in the faith and who is no stranger to suffering, death, and complete abandonment to the will of God, I found the book immensely helpful. It's a devotional not a treatise. It isn't meant to be academic, it's meant to help you have a heart-to-heart with Jesus.

I do think that someone who is new to the Stations of the Cross will want a pamphlet or bookmark as an intro or reference to the concept, to help them stay on track as they move from one chapter to the next.

I think this has potential, in the right circumstances so keep reading, as a bridge back to the faith for someone who was raised Catholic and has been away for a long time. It's friendly and non-confrontational. In a complete reading of every word of the book from cover to cover I did not notice any red flags on words or phrases that might be alienating.

That said, I would strongly advise that before giving the book to someone struggling with the faith that you to read it first and use your knowledge of your friend or family member to prayerfully discern whether this person will benefit now or should wait until later.

Is this book suited to group study?

There are reflection questions at the end of each chapter, and the chapters are short and easy to prep, so this does lend itself to group study. I’m going to refer you to chapters 11 & 12 of Marcel LeJeune’s The Contagious Catholic for some essential perspective on small group ministry. Meanwhile, here are my caveats:

There are more than six Stations (ha!). I would not cover more than one chapter in any group Bible study meeting because there's just too much depth, even though the chapters are short. So you can't just speed through this one during Lent, done. Plan to take your time.

The only exception would be if you have that rare breed of book club members who actually read the book, and who are able to commit to reading several chapters per week during their personal devotion times and then come together for a general sharing of experiences.

That said, I don't for a moment believe that the Way of the Cross is only for Lent. This is absolutely an appropriate book to study during any season or seasons of the liturgical year. As a book study for a group seeking to grow closer to Jesus Christ via a communal sharing and discussion process, it’s entirely reasonable to spend 16-18 weeks praying through the book chapter by chapter, one per week. The chapters are short, but the personal involvement is intense.

Suffering is tough. You should pre-read the book and know your group before cracking this one open in a class environment. Be honest with yourself about whether the group members are sufficiently supportive and charitable with each other, because it is very, very wounding when someone is, however inadvertently, dismissive of your pain or suffering.

In contrast, this is a super choice for one-on-one or one-on-a-few mentoring situations.

Likewise, because the book has a compact form factor and includes a Stations suitable for group prayer, I think this is a superb choice to stock as your parish's go-to prayer book, if you have a way of not-losing your chapel copies. Parishioners can arrive early (or stay after) to prayerfully read a chapter on their own, and then use the Stations guide in the appendix for the actual devotion itself.

—> I would contact Ave Maria Press about bulk discounts if you'd like to stock it for group prayer, and depending on the volume price breaks you may want to go in with several other parishes in your area to do a single purchase. For individual purchase I strongly recommend subscribing to Ave Maria's mailing list, as you'll get notified when there's a coupon code available.

What are realistic ministry expectations?

The Problem of Pain is a tremendous obstacle to faith. It is not a problem you can fully address with apologetic-type arguments. I have, absolutely, addressed the question of suffering in classes for students of all ages (above the age of reason) from a purely theological and analytical point of view. There's a time and place. For someone who is actively suffering though, these types of discussions are usually not what the person needs.

Living Memento Mori looks at suffering from the point of view of Christ being present with us and sharing in our suffering. The book is not appropriate for use during times of intense grief -- that's a time for just being free to mourn, as Jesus Himself modeled for us. It is invaluable, though, for those who are open to a spiritual, person-to-Person conversation with God while working through pain and trials that are healed-enough to make it possible to read and to pray.

Living Memento Mori cover art courtesy of Ave Maria Press.

*The full memoir is not published yet. But I've seen the original draft, and right now I am trying to bribe Emily with free miso to make this happen. Matter of public record, so no use hiding this fact. Probably she'd be more bribed by a book contract, but I can only do what I can do.

Link List:

Ave Maria Press - Contact info. (You can subscribe to their email list for promotions at the bottom of the contact page.)
Order page for Living Memento Mori: My Journey through the Stations of the Cross.
Author & Editor Emily DeArdo’s welcome page.
Updated: Direct link to the book Ask Me Anything post on Emily’s blog, 2/12/22.
The first Station of the Cross chapter from Living Memento Mori.
FOCUS book review of Forming Intentional Disciples with a quick recap of the five thresholds of discipleship.
The Blessed is She NABRE Catholic Journaling Bible (for those of you wondering what "Bible Journaling" is, look at the photos below the product information to see the sample reader's vivid annotations in the margins) and tools and tips.
Marcel LeJeune’s ministry page: Catholic Missionary Disciples. If you want to understand discipleship groups, this is your resource. Listen to him.
The Contagious Catholic: The Art of Practical Evangelization by Marcel LeJeune.

You can find Emily’s combox for open Q&A at her blog. If you are reading this hot off the press, give her a day to create a dedicated welcome post, she’s waiting for me to get the review live.

One Soul at a Time