Fear of Evangelizing

Are you a little shy? Or maybe a whole lot afraid of accidentally sending someone to hell by being the world's worst evangelist? Hey, you're not alone in those fears. There's hope for you.

This week I’ve been reading through Marcel LeJeune’s The Contagious Catholic: The Art of Practical Evangelization, and I’d like to interact a little with some of his questions and observations.

—> To be very clear: If you are subscribing here but aren’t reading Marcel LeJeune, I’m not even sure what you’re doing with your life. Sheesh.

Anyhow. Fast forward to the end of chapter one. In the reflection questions, he asks, “Have you ever intentionally tried to evangelize? How did it go?”

Okay, so I’m reading this guy’s book, and I had to remind myself that the question isn’t whether I’ve done as much as my imaginary other life would have allowed, but have I done the thing at all? Check. That’s a definite yes.

The next question is: “What barriers exist in your heart that prevent you from evangelizing?”

Readers, time to be doubly clear: Heck yes I get nervous about evangelizing. Fear in evangelization is a real thing, and loving Jesus isn’t the instant cure. So let’s talk a little bit about two common types of fear that I personally experience and that might affect you or someone you’re mentoring.

Social Anxiety

I think some level of shyness is an almost-universal experience. Some people only have very rare, uncharacteristic moments when they feel nervous and uncertain about interacting with another person or group in a specific way; at the other end of the spectrum are those for whom fear about social interactions is the norm rather than the exception. Most of us live somewhere in between.

This is normal life. We are comfortable in situations where we feel like we know what to do and say, we know that we are capable of carrying our role successfully, and we know that we’ll be favorably (or acceptably) received by the other person or people involved in the interaction.

Very-confident people are not, by the way, necessarily any better at a given social task (though it helps); often they are just less-bothered by neutral or negative feedback that very-shy persons find overwhelming.

With evangelization, the social uncertainties we face are threefold:

• Do I know what to say and do?

• Will I do a good job of saying and doing the right things?

• Will my efforts be well-received?

If you’re prone to extreme self-scrutiny, you can manage to feel like a failure whether you say something (Oh no! I did that wrong!) or not (I should have spoken up!). That’s a spiritual and psychological issue that we have to work through, because if you’re living in a no-win vortex of self-criticism, you’re going to . . . well, you know how it is. Do what you can to shake free of your own worst enemy.

In terms of the bigger questions, we can reduce our evangelization fears in three practical ways:

• Learning about evangelization techniques. I would start with Marcel LeJeune’s book on this, especially if you don’t have a real-life mentor you can shadow and learn from.

• Practicing. The reality is that the first time we field a given question or face a particular situation, there’s a decent chance we’re gonna blow it. Okay, so? Keep on trying. Learn from what went wrong and then look for opportunities to do a better job in the future.

• Creating evangelization-friendly social environments.

On this last point, Marcel LeJeune gives an example in his book of (a) letting a new acquaintance know he was Catholic and then (b) saying something like, “If you ever have any questions about that, I’m happy to talk.” That’s low-key, non-confrontational, and leaves the door open for future conversation if the other person so desires.

Ironically, in terms of social-comfort, some of the most forward, out-there evangelization activities can be the least scary. If you’re sitting at a booth in the farmers’ market under a sign that says “Questions about the Catholic Faith Answered Here” then anyone who comes up to you is by definition already open to discussing spiritual matters (or at least braving them as the price of getting directions to the restroom). They might be itching for a fight, but at least you know it’s a fight they want — and you don’t have to fight back, you could just be friendly and kind and answer their questions.

In your parish (and similar) initiatives, sometimes even though it’s church for goodness sakes we still worry that we’re coming on too strong. A solution is to just be up front. Don’t advertise an event as suitable to all-comers when really it’s oriented towards those who want a hardcore, fire-n-brimstone sermon.

Have events that truly are zero-confrontation (service events, communal meals, recreational activities), opportunities to pray with the community (Adoration, Liturgy of the Hours, musical devotions, etc.) without any risk; seeker-friendly studies promoted as such (“Learn more about what the Bible says about Easter”); and then venues where serious, difficult personal issues are the reason for coming and you let people know that. That could be an open Q&A, it could be “call this number to arrange a private counseling session on this difficult aspect of living the Catholic faith,” or it could be a planned study or discussion specifically focused on what the Catholic faith has to say on a given topic.

You still need to be a pleasant human being, but knowing that you’ve informed people in advance of what’s coming helps eliminate the fear that someone will resent you for saying what you told them you were going to say.

Am I going to make things worse?

Sometimes our anxiety about witnessing to our faith is due to worldly (but understandable) concerns: If people find out I’m Catholic, will it kill my career? If I openly practice my faith will it enrage my anti-Catholic family member? Are there serious social or political repercussions to being outed as a Catholic in the part of the world where I have no choice but to make my home?

These are serious questions that are best answered through prayerful discernment with the assistance of a reliable mentor or spiritual director who fully understands the details of your situation (another professional in your field; a counselor skilled in family therapy; a resident of your community who understands the local culture).

More often though, I think for Christians who are living in a pretty-safe environment and who are past the initial nervousness of coming out as a convert (if you ever were the nervous type — I was), there’s a far more urgent question: Are my efforts at evangelizing actually going to make things worse?

What if I say the wrong thing, or set the wrong example, or the person knows all about my weaknesses and failures, and therefore my well-intended efforts end up driving this person farther away from Jesus?

It’s a healthy fear to have, if we keep it in perspective.

If I have a healthy fear of food poisoning, I’ll be careful about hygiene and food storage, but I won’t be so terrified I dangerously restrict my diet to a short list of “safe” foods. If I have a healthy fear of traffic accidents, I’ll be careful about maintaining my vehicle and driving safely, but I won’t be so terrified I miss out on important life events. What does a healthy fear of evangelizing badly look like?

• I pray for guidance.

• I do my best to be a virtuous person who loves God and others, who goes to confession when I sin, and who makes a serious effort to root out sin from my life and replace it with holiness.

• I make an effort to learn from others what does and doesn’t help in evangelization. I learn not only from Christian evangelizing experts, but also from attentively listening to non-Christians who are willing to share their experiences with me.

• I accept that I can’t control everything and I can’t know everything. God is asking me to help others draw closer to Him. I’m going to give it an honest try, and trust that He will bless that effort even if I don’t always do it perfectly.

It’s all you can do. A healthy fear of evangelizing badly is a good thing. The stakes are eternal, so you should want to do this well. But ultimately God knows that He put fallible you on this earth to be part of His plan of salvation. If that’s what He wants, and He does, who are you to argue? You just have to suck it up and do your best and keep on trying.

The Contagious Catholic cover art courtesy of Ascension Press. Seriously. Read this book. Did I mention already you should read this book?