Invitations to Church
Everyone wants ashes -- and everyone can have them! Which brings us to the topic of inviting your non-Catholic friends to Catholic stuff.
Inviting people to church is a delicate topic in evangelization. Short version: Yes, you should, but no, it’s not a cure-all.
There are awesome stories of people who walk into a Catholic church for the first time, or the first time in years, and the Jesus Love smacks them so powerfully they never look back.
There are disconcerting stories of people who visit for xyz Catholic thing and are so weirded-out by something or another that happened — maybe something bad, maybe just whatever that wasn’t a good fit — that they run away indefinitely.
I would guess that most visitors have an in-between experience. They leave with a new insight or a positive impression about this or that, but it’s not a life-changing moment. They continue on as they had been, but maybe down the road that encounter will bear fruit.
When is it a good idea to invite someone to come to church with you?
There aren’t hard and fast rules, but I’d say the following are some pretty obvious moments when an invitation is in order:
When the person has asked to come. Someone just wants to see what a Catholic Mass is like. Or they have started asking questions about Catholic things, and when you suggest a visit in a general way, they are open and eager.
I would include here even people who want to come because they have an adversarial viewpoint, if they are persons of good will who genuinely want to see if the Catholic really is everything they’ve heard.
The person has expressed a spiritual interest that a given Catholic event can answer.
They want to study the Bible, your parish has a Bible study.
They want quiet time to pray and light a candle, your parish has unlocked doors and lots of candles available for the lighting.
They are interested in learning more about formal, historically-rooted liturgies, your parish has the Mass.
And so forth.
The person has a natural connection to the event.
This is the wedding-funeral-baptism thing, but it could be something else:
Friends or family members are all going, you’re welcome to join.
The parish has a historic or cultural interest.
So you’re dating a Catholic, would you like to learn more about that?
Again, for evangelists: Don’t confuse polite or even earnest interest with a major spiritual breakthrough. Curiosity and courtesy are both good reasons to accept an invitation, but they aren’t the same thing as conversion.
Forewarned is Forearmed
I think it’s considerate to give your friend a quick debriefing before the event concerning anything that could be awkward or uncomfortable. Cover basic stuff like what to do during Communion (Adoration, Stations, Vespers, etc.), where the bathroom is, how to follow the program, but also hit any potential sore topics or known landmines.
Those will vary based on the quirks of your parish, the nature of the event, and your friend’s background and sensitivities.
Prayer → Conversation → Invitation
We don’t control when or whether our friends will experience life-changing conversion. That’s the work of the Holy Spirit. But we’ve been specifically instructed to assist in that work, and inviting people to come and see is part of that process.
I’m writing this at the start of Lent, because Ash Wednesday is a big day when even people who never go to church like to come get ashes. In another six weeks we’ll be figuring out parking for Easter. In between, your parish probably offers a wide range of opportunities to pray, serve, study, and socialize.
Some of those might be of interest to someone you know. Consider spending the next forty days making a daily commitment to:
Prayer for the people you know who are experiencing spiritual difficulties.
Be open to conversations focused on listening to your friends and learning more about what they are experiencing, from their point of view.
Extending invitations when a possible match comes to your attention.
You could choose a specific person to pray for all Lent, or you could offer up a daily prayer for conversation and invitation opportunities to arise throughout your day, with whomever the Holy Spirit puts in your path.
And then of course it circles right back to prayer, because it’s the Lord your friend is meeting when that invitation is accepted.
Photo: Tracks in our inch of snow we got this year. It was a lot of years praying for this inch.
I reluctantly put away the Nativity scenes today, and folded up the snowflake table cloth to prepare the way for the purple. Thank you to everyone who prayed, I am doing way better! Hoping to get some regular writing done these next forty days, Lord willing.
Happy Lent!