Top 10 Unexplored Evangelization Techniques

Many happy returns of the day, you fools for Christ.

Feel like your evangelization efforts are getting worn out? Feel like you’ve tried everything? Here at One Soul at a Time we’ve put together this special list of Top Ten Unexplored Evangelization Ideas exclusively for use on April 1st:

10. Chick tracts, but Catholic.

9. Theocratic revolution. Like Iran, except it’s the Knights patrolling for half-hearted fish fries.

8. Death Metal Mass.

7. Funnier hats.

6. Legion of Mary acquires Starbucks. I don’t really know what this will do for us, but I’d like to find out.

5. Social media buyout. And then we move Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok to an all-fax platform. Okay honestly I don’t see a downside here.

4. Breed and train a species of spiritual rescue dogs. Like St. Bernards, except they drag you to confession.

3. More sports teams with Catholic mascots. We won’t stop until everyone’s a “Saint.”

2. Catholic Mime. Can we honestly say we’ve made the effort on this one yet? No we haven’t.

1. Or I guess prayer, fasting, repentance . . . shoot, let’s circle back to those mimes.

God bless and be assured: No mimes were harmed in the making of this list.

Photo: Mime artists Jean and Brigitte Soubeyran in the play "In the Circus", circa 1950, CC 5.0.