I’m reminded of a phrase, “God works through the sacraments, but He is not limited to them.” It is a balm to the soul for those who cannot participate for one reason or another. However, I think it can also become an excuse for those who don’t seek the sacraments, thinking God will reach through any old crack to bring them to Himself despite their indifference.
What are your thoughts on some of the common guidelines for baptism of a child (family must be registered and practicing for a certain period of time, parents must attend a baptism class)? Are they barriers?
Oh gosh. Guidelines like that are a mixed blessing.
On the one hand, if rigidly applied they are obviously a barrier. I think they also often send a *message* of works-based salvation, not intentionally but the plain fact is that you are being made to do some checklist items to receive what is supposed to be a free gift of grace (in the case of confirmation, this is often literally hours of service work, and yes the kids totally notice they are working for their "free gift").
OTOH they can provide something of protection for parishioners from the risk that a gatekeeper get carried away in concern about spiritual readiness, or interpersonal conflicts lead to "I don't think you're *really* ready" -- there's a tacit agreement that if you just do the things, you'll get the sacrament, no further questions asked. Given that parishes are made up 100% of fallible people, that protective aspect is a good safeguard!
But I think the real challenge is although the guidelines are trying to say, "Come on guys, I need you to at least be Catholic, give me something to work with here," what they end up sounding like is, "Our rules are more important than welcoming you."
My best guess at a middle ground is an attitude of, "These are our typical checks in place to make sure you are prepared for the sacrament. If you have a situation, talk to __[staff member or volunteer who is good at tough cases]__ and we'll figure out how to proceed."
All that said, if you require baptism class for an expected/newborn younger sibling but don't offer a nursery during that class, yeah, that's a clear "We don't actually want families here" message.
I think the best middle route for most parishes is a dual track system where you have your standard operating procedures for sacramental prep that most people will find the simplest and most enjoyable route (and you make it awesome and people really do find it helpful!), but there are alternate pathways for the many situations where one-size-fits-most just doesn't fit.
Coming back to hard cases, thinking of a family I met who wanted Catholic baptism but for various reasons didn't attend Catholic church, and you could add in as many layers of problems on top . . . what could a parish do to be welcoming and get this family involved in parish life *before* they are ready to come every Sunday, *before* they are theologically on board, *before* they get whatever major major obstacles rectified (what if it's a same-sex couple? A polygamous family? etc.) during the time when they are still very far from being able to fully practice the faith?
[Because we know those guidelines you ask about that people like me love to complain about exist because there are *many* people asking for sacraments who are not at all disposed to receive them.]
The answer isn't to pretend everything is just fine, ignore the obvious major problems. But it will never get a chance to become fine if there's not a way for this family to somehow still be loved.
And I mean, yes, this is something that really hasn't been touched in the Church very much. It's strange territory. I won't say hard or easy, but different, for sure.
I’m reminded of a phrase, “God works through the sacraments, but He is not limited to them.” It is a balm to the soul for those who cannot participate for one reason or another. However, I think it can also become an excuse for those who don’t seek the sacraments, thinking God will reach through any old crack to bring them to Himself despite their indifference.
What are your thoughts on some of the common guidelines for baptism of a child (family must be registered and practicing for a certain period of time, parents must attend a baptism class)? Are they barriers?
Oh gosh. Guidelines like that are a mixed blessing.
On the one hand, if rigidly applied they are obviously a barrier. I think they also often send a *message* of works-based salvation, not intentionally but the plain fact is that you are being made to do some checklist items to receive what is supposed to be a free gift of grace (in the case of confirmation, this is often literally hours of service work, and yes the kids totally notice they are working for their "free gift").
OTOH they can provide something of protection for parishioners from the risk that a gatekeeper get carried away in concern about spiritual readiness, or interpersonal conflicts lead to "I don't think you're *really* ready" -- there's a tacit agreement that if you just do the things, you'll get the sacrament, no further questions asked. Given that parishes are made up 100% of fallible people, that protective aspect is a good safeguard!
But I think the real challenge is although the guidelines are trying to say, "Come on guys, I need you to at least be Catholic, give me something to work with here," what they end up sounding like is, "Our rules are more important than welcoming you."
My best guess at a middle ground is an attitude of, "These are our typical checks in place to make sure you are prepared for the sacrament. If you have a situation, talk to __[staff member or volunteer who is good at tough cases]__ and we'll figure out how to proceed."
All that said, if you require baptism class for an expected/newborn younger sibling but don't offer a nursery during that class, yeah, that's a clear "We don't actually want families here" message.
I think the best middle route for most parishes is a dual track system where you have your standard operating procedures for sacramental prep that most people will find the simplest and most enjoyable route (and you make it awesome and people really do find it helpful!), but there are alternate pathways for the many situations where one-size-fits-most just doesn't fit.
Coming back to hard cases, thinking of a family I met who wanted Catholic baptism but for various reasons didn't attend Catholic church, and you could add in as many layers of problems on top . . . what could a parish do to be welcoming and get this family involved in parish life *before* they are ready to come every Sunday, *before* they are theologically on board, *before* they get whatever major major obstacles rectified (what if it's a same-sex couple? A polygamous family? etc.) during the time when they are still very far from being able to fully practice the faith?
[Because we know those guidelines you ask about that people like me love to complain about exist because there are *many* people asking for sacraments who are not at all disposed to receive them.]
The answer isn't to pretend everything is just fine, ignore the obvious major problems. But it will never get a chance to become fine if there's not a way for this family to somehow still be loved.
And I mean, yes, this is something that really hasn't been touched in the Church very much. It's strange territory. I won't say hard or easy, but different, for sure.