My wife and I recently moved to a new state. Where we moved from, we were deeply engaged in the Catholic community, there were tons of people and regular planning meetings and everyone always asking the questions "How do we get more quantity? How do we improve quality? How to be more welcoming?" We knew a lot of people and it felt like home.
In our new state (we've been here since November), we have yet to find a community to "plug into". We've attended a couple different parishes in the area and haven't really had the "reach-out-to-the-new-folks" conversation, yet in fairness neither have we done much reaching out. We've been attending Mass and listening to announcements and looking around. We stay in the pews for a bit after Mass to discuss what we've heard and/or to pray, and when we leave the place is empty.
I would really appreciate it if you write a follow up with some tactics. I am a horribly shy person and my wife is extraordinarily extra/extroverted, but this challenge came as a surprise to us. We expected we would be found by a community like the one we had; we are realizing we will have to do the finding.
I will say that in most parishes, volunteering is the way (often the only way) to meet people. Which creates a huge barrier for those who are unable to volunteer. It can also create a false sense of community, in that while working together is a good first step towards forming relationships, it isn't the only step.
Likewise, I can tell you things that work for finding friends when you are able to actively engage with people, host social events, etc . . . but those things only apply to people who are in a position to give it a shot.
(Short version: Meet someone through a more formal avenue, such as volunteering, and then invite them to dinner/coffee/etc. and see if you hit it off. Repeat repeat repeat until you find someone you really connect with.)
I'm going to think about the challenge and put together an initial post. Thanks for the suggestion!
With a church the size and geographic spread of the BOSP, there are loads of parishioners who know the names of very few others. That makes it difficult to be outgoing to visitors because it isn't always clear who belongs and who doesn't. And it is also difficult to approach a parishioner we have seen at Mass for a year or two but still don't have a clue what the name is. That is the fundamental justification for the photo directory we are working on and for Hospitality St. Peters, just to get to know each other better so we can be friendlier and practice extraversion and work together better.
Yes - that is one of the tools I'm going to be mentioning, btw. Large parishes have some significant challenges, for sure. BOSP has a handful of best practices that are going into one of the tactics posts :-).
My wife and I recently moved to a new state. Where we moved from, we were deeply engaged in the Catholic community, there were tons of people and regular planning meetings and everyone always asking the questions "How do we get more quantity? How do we improve quality? How to be more welcoming?" We knew a lot of people and it felt like home.
In our new state (we've been here since November), we have yet to find a community to "plug into". We've attended a couple different parishes in the area and haven't really had the "reach-out-to-the-new-folks" conversation, yet in fairness neither have we done much reaching out. We've been attending Mass and listening to announcements and looking around. We stay in the pews for a bit after Mass to discuss what we've heard and/or to pray, and when we leave the place is empty.
I would really appreciate it if you write a follow up with some tactics. I am a horribly shy person and my wife is extraordinarily extra/extroverted, but this challenge came as a surprise to us. We expected we would be found by a community like the one we had; we are realizing we will have to do the finding.
Challenge accepted!
I will say that in most parishes, volunteering is the way (often the only way) to meet people. Which creates a huge barrier for those who are unable to volunteer. It can also create a false sense of community, in that while working together is a good first step towards forming relationships, it isn't the only step.
Likewise, I can tell you things that work for finding friends when you are able to actively engage with people, host social events, etc . . . but those things only apply to people who are in a position to give it a shot.
(Short version: Meet someone through a more formal avenue, such as volunteering, and then invite them to dinner/coffee/etc. and see if you hit it off. Repeat repeat repeat until you find someone you really connect with.)
I'm going to think about the challenge and put together an initial post. Thanks for the suggestion!
With a church the size and geographic spread of the BOSP, there are loads of parishioners who know the names of very few others. That makes it difficult to be outgoing to visitors because it isn't always clear who belongs and who doesn't. And it is also difficult to approach a parishioner we have seen at Mass for a year or two but still don't have a clue what the name is. That is the fundamental justification for the photo directory we are working on and for Hospitality St. Peters, just to get to know each other better so we can be friendlier and practice extraversion and work together better.
Yes - that is one of the tools I'm going to be mentioning, btw. Large parishes have some significant challenges, for sure. BOSP has a handful of best practices that are going into one of the tactics posts :-).
What is BOSP?
Basilica of St. Peter's, but the one in Columbia, SC.
Among other distinctions, Darryl Williams runs this website about the Basilica's historic graveyard: https://visitstpetersgraveyard.org/ .